Eight Tips on Making the First Move

In Business, interaction and relationship with people is very important. Remember how Professor Lee said in class that people are the most precious asset? In Business, you have to have a lot of connections and it is beneficial if you know a lot of people. The problem for some of us though is that it is hard for us to approach new people. Even if we were to approach them, some of us just do not know what to say. Most people have some level of social anxiety, especially when it comes to meeting new people. We focus on the embarrassment and the rejection rather than the opportunity of a new business partner, sales prospect or friend. For some, making the first move can bring on everything from tense muscles to a slamming heart.

This is why I would like to share with you eight tips on making the first move. This is going to help everyone in business.

Make Eye Contact
Looking anxious and having lack of confidence is bad. The best way to appear confident even if you are not is to make eye contact and smile. If you do, you'll be off to a good start

Picture Someone Familiar
Before approaching someone, look for physical characteristics that remind you of a close friend or relative. Maybe the person's hair is like your mother's; maybe he smiles like your best friend. Focus on the similarities, and you can convince yourself, if only for the moment, that you are comfortable with a complete stranger.

Listen First, Speak Later
Rather than jump-starting a new conversation, sometimes it's easier to jump into one that's already going on. Be careful not to bulldoze your way in; instead, wait for a lull and have something relevant to say that pushes the conversation along. This tactic works well in business settings where everyone is gathered for ostensibly the same reason but still may not know each other. The first 10 or 20 seconds might feel awkward, but before you know it, you'll be shaking hands and exchanging names.

Share a Common Experience
Executed with aplomb, this time-worn technique works in any setting--from business meeting to hotel bar. Don't recognize a familiar face? Lead with something that circumstances suggest you might have in common. Example: "The traffic was a nightmare!" Trite, perhaps, but a useful conversation starter.


Be Generous
Many people get worked up about initiating a first interaction because they are afraid to seem aggressive, says Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist in Santa Monica, Calif. Pre-empt that reaction by offering your targets some sort of fig leaf: a question about themselves, a book recommendation, even a compliment. Cheesy as it sounds, something like "Excuse me, where did you find that great tie?" still works. Hey, people are self-centered--use it to your advantage.

Focus On Them
Beyond the ego-stroking, there is another benefit to making the conversation all about the other person: It takes the pressure off of you. "When a person is focusing on themselves--wondering if they are blushing, sweating or trembling--their anxiety level increases," says Gottlieb.

Practice, Practice
Rehearsing icebreakers with a friend before going to a meeting or party can be very helpful. Practicing in advance not only helps you brainstorm things to say, it also helps to build courage. "Planning what you want to say, and considering in advance what you want someone to think of you, will give you confidence in that first interaction," says John Baldoni, a corporate communications consultant based in Ann Arbor, Mich.

Have Reasonable Expectations
Most people have some level of social anxiety, especially about meeting new people. George Clooney notwithstanding, the person you are trying to approach is probably nervous too. Take comfort: We're all pretty much in the same boat, so make a move.

I hope this eight tips will greatly help you in your business interactions.

By: 20600674 (Entry #6)